Japanese English and Stupid Hair

First off, I admit my Japanese is far inferior to even the worst English I read or hear in Japan. As I struggle with this language, I am humbled by my own students who do so well speaking English as a second language at Media Academy.

Nevertheless, I still love seeing some of the funny ways English is used here. Above is a photo of a sign at Hakone that left me puzzled. How would you fix that grammar?

Here are some other phrases that have left me laughing or wondering:
1. Stupid Hair Salon -- the name of a salon in Ena that could cause some serious marketing problems
2. Please Pray for Me, My Husband is Irish -- a t-shirt worn by a Japanese man at a school festival
3. Please don't touch doubtful things -- a sign at a train station near Gora/Hakone

4. You are my hearo -- shirt on teenager at Japanese high school baseball tournament

5. Please do not touch a hand -- sign at art exhibit near Meiji Temple in Harajuku

I'm sure to add to the list. Meanwhile, I hope nobody is making a list of all the stupid things I am saying in Japanese.